Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Creating a heart answer

Try this today. What does your heart have to tell you?

Interestingly this was a tough prompt for me.  When Kat shared today's prompt for #Reverb13 over at   katmcnally.com
She wrote:

Today, I want to share with you a life-changing practice I discovered with the help of Rachael Maddox during her gorgeous Do It Meaningfully challenge.

Each day for 31 days, I sat quietly for a few moments with my eyes closed and my hand on my heart and asked, “Heart: what do you need?”

In my first post at Creating Day I of Reverb13 I talked about how full and happy my heart is.  That is true.  AND... when I ask my heart what it needs the part of it that is hurting and sad pops up and asks for resolution.  



res·o·lu·tion (from Dictionary.com)

[rez-uh-loo-shuhn] 
noun
1.a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution.
2.a decision or determination; a resolve: to make a firm resolution to do something. Her resolution to clear her parents' name allowed her no other focus in life.
3.the act determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.; the act of resolving.
4.firmness of purpose; the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute: She showed her resolution by not attending the meeting.
5.the act or process of separating into constituent or elementary parts or resolving
 
2013 brought two things to my life that need resolution.  In June we got that the notice that the house we have lived in, leased and loved for over 7 years needed to be bought ASAP or we had to move!  Needless to say we want to buy the house and have been going through that process this year.  Due to the landlord being foreclosed upon and now working with a big corporation it has been at times a very frustrating process.  Even though I feel like it will all turn out well it has left me feeling a little uneasy until it is resolved. I don't talk about it much because friends and family like to ask about the progress and it's hard to say, "Still working on it" without bringing up anxiety.  We had some good news yesterday which is a step in the right direction!  So my heart would like a great resolution in 2014 with buying our home.

The second thing that needs resolution is a rift in a close friendship.   Back in March I managed to hurt the feelings of someone very dear to me.  It was unintentional and a perfect storm occurred that included lack of sleep, menopause, stress and additional people stirring it up :(  I have apologized and my friend has told me that we are okay but in the months that have followed it doesn't feel okay since my feelings have been hurt repeatedly during the process.  I did my very best to make amends (which was hard since I was never really told what I did).  We are now doing that dance of being wary with each other and not quite sure where we stand.  My heart is hurting over this.  How does a 16 year friendship fall apart so quickly?  A couple of months ago on Facebook I read an article on renegotiating friendships.  I've been trying to track it down so I can re-read and hopefully repair and renegotiate this relationship I value tremendously.  You know that I am a silver lining kinda girl and there have been some silver linings throughout the months that followed.  The biggest silver lining is that several new and amazing friends have come into my life and our friendships are blooming and this might not have happened due to time constraints before.  I'm finding this tough to write about since it still feels like it's in limbo but my heart was very clear - resolution - fix this!  And if I can't fix it it's time to make peace with myself and my friend though forgiveness and let it go.  I know that whatever happens our relationship has changed forever which my heart sighs over and I'm hoping in my heart of hearts that we can come back stronger and have a deeper relationship in 2014.
 
   
I'm curious to know what your heart is asking for?
 
Wrapping you around with infinite love and wisdom,
 
Christine




 

8 comments:

  1. Dear Christine, I too struggle with friendships that have been damaged. I have started a private release of material objects connected to them so that when I stumble upon them I don't go through all the negative thoughts. By releasing these material things, I am beginning to heal. Perhaps through this releasing of both material and spiritual attachments something magical and new will happen with regards to all of my relationships. What a challenge!

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  2. Beautiful and so vulnerable of you to post, Christine. My heart reaches out to yours, in compassion - for what you are going through with your heart and your friend, too. My heart is my dear friend, she is telling me to get out there, deeper and wider, and let my fountain flow!!!! Yippee!! great to be reverbing with you today!

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    1. Thank you Julie! I love what your heart is saying :)

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  3. Oh Christine I know how it feels to have broken relationships. I like what Ruth is doing. I think letting go both physically and emotionally is the only way to heal. I hope your home comes out the way you want it to and your friendship endures and thrives.

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  4. May you find the resolution you seek and may it bring you ease and comfort... and make space for JOY. x

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