Grief
It hits me at different times
an unexpected shadow on a sunny day
At times when I turn to tell you something
or pick up the phone to call
and I doubt myself
I doubt the sixteen years that built our friendship
our daily conversations
and a lifetime of plans
I doubt myself
since it is I who hurt you
inadvertently and unconciously
Hurting your heart so much
that during the space you needed to heal
the fabric of our lives completely shifted
The hurt I felt when
you were unable or unwilling to forgive
No more daily cups of tea
or making plans together
Uncertainty around holidays
that never before existed
Like a private divorce
since we still exist in so many overlapping circles
that we built together
In my heart
I know a mending of "us"
is possible with some conscious work
I grieve for the easiness that once
was so natural in our friendship
it was like breathing.
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| I loved this image :) |
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I can so relate to your feelings of grief and hope for you as with me that someday it will be healed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Darlene :)
DeleteOh, you described it as something I've been through. Yet better things will come.
ReplyDeleteThanks Fida!
DeleteMending rifts almost always bring some new dimension to a relationship...deeper, and more meaningful. I pray that is the case. Time apart helps illumine what is important, what is appreciated, as time heals wounds. God has a purpose in all things. The unfolding is so hard. Beautiful words here. Picture you used speaks to me...
ReplyDeleteThanks Ellen - I agree
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Christine. You describe the poignancy and pain so exquisitely here... it is universal and so very human. Thank you for sharing this beautiful insight. x
ReplyDeleteI have experienced this too Christine. I love the way you expressed your grief through a poem and images.
ReplyDelete